The Reality...ONE Year Later, I Like Adoption

The Reality... is a series of posts that give expression to what life is like

 going from being a family of four with two small children,

 to instantly becoming a family of seven 

when we adopted our three oldest children.

Our story of being an adoptive family began one year ago TODAY when we welcomed three of the most A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. kids ever into our home!

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 I Like Adoption...

With no hesitation, one year into it, I can say that I like adoption. Even though this past year has been the HARDEST & MOST DIFFICULT year of my 30 year life. Let me explain...

I have been hit, kicked, scratched, bitten, and head butted.

I've put my children in "time-ins" and held on for dear life for over 30 minutes of flailing and screaming. At times getting bashed in the jaw with their head and trying not to let my child see the tears streaming down my face.

A dresser was thrown over in a tantrum, by someone who in my mind was too small to even be capable of that, leaving it broken, and unable to be repaired.

Kids have slammed doors, hurt each other, pulled hair, and screamed at each other. 

I've found out how much work it is to have twins.

I've sat in therapy offices desperate for answers. 

I've read books on how to explain adoption to kids.

I've been told (thankfully only a couple of times), "I hate you," "I hate this house," "you're not my mom!"

I've been fearful of the awkwardness of running into our kids bio family at the grocery store or around town. I've talked to the therapist about "my fears" as an adoptive mom and in the process I've had my views drastically changed as to how much an open adoption could benefit our kids and have wondered how in the world to take the next step towards that.

I've broken up fights...carried screaming kids up to their room while they've almost pulled the railing off of the stairway in the process.

I've gained ten pounds.

I've never been more completely exhausted at the end of the day than almost every single day of this year.

I've made more peanut butter and jelly sandwiches than I think I ate in my whole childhood life (I guess that makes sense when you multiply times 5) and I've cleaned up more glasses of spilled milk than I can count. Heck, I've even decided that the only way to get through a meal with complete joy is to assume that under all circumstances someone will spill something at least once and then be pleasantly surprised when it doesn't happen! :-)

I've looked at our calendar and wondered, "how in the world do we do all of this?"

I've gone through a week of the flu hitting every member of our household only to claim Sam and I as its last victims at the very end. So, after the exhaustion of changing that many sheets and cleaning up that much puke, I will now quarantine any sick child to their room in our house to the best of my ability because letting the sickness just roll on through is crazy!

I've been homesick for my extended family but yet know that packing up a crew of seven and making the 24 hour drive back to where I grew up is an enormous feat.

I've been so calm and level when someone is screaming and hitting me and then other times I have snapped when a child comes and asks me a simple question.

I have walked out on my husband for the day, and left him home alone with all five kids because the day seemed like too much for me to handle.

I've had to say "I'm sorry" to the kids and to my husband, but I'll confess that I still need to practice that one.

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It wouldn't be fair to tell you the reality of our first year together as a family of seven if it wasn't for one more thing...

With absolutely no hesitation I can also say that this past year has been HANDS DOWN the B.E.S.T. Y.E.A.R. of my LIFE!

My Entire Life

My WHOLE Entire Life!

Never before have I felt like my life had so much meaning, so much purpose. If I died tomorrow I would die having made a difference in a valuable life, FIVE little lives actually!

Never before have I loved so much!

Never before have I received so many snuggles, hugs and kisses.

Never before have I wanted to learn so much about children and adoption.

Never before have I been so desperate to learn more as a parent.

Never before has my heart been so overwhelmed by simply being called,"mom".

Never before have I been so thankful that it is going so well! No really, this was a description of the past year and when I think back I realize that it could have been way worse! I remember going into it not knowing exactly how things were going to work out and how things would go growing from a family of 4 to a family of 7. But then again my husband does always say that "God doesn't call us to what's comfortable or convenient." Over this past year I have found that to be very true and I have also discovered that it is way better to live a life of "challenge" than to just accept "comfortable."

The truth is adoption is hard, parenting kids who are adopted is hard, parenting biological kids who were born into your family is hard. But when you have purpose, when you have hope for the future, when your life is now a mission to love your family no matter how far from perfect it all is. It doesn't matter how hard it gets because it is SO GOOD, and is so right to love as we have been loved!

So whatever you might be considering that looks too hard in your life, that you might not have the answers for, that you can't see how exactly it is unfolding...but somewhere in there you feel the deep call that maybe this is bigger than you and maybe this is God's perfect plan for you then I would encourage you to GO FOR IT!

Here's a quote from the movie The Blind Side that captures how I feel about adoption one year into it:

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I Like Adoption...no wait, I LOVE Adoption!

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