Monday, February 17, 2014

A Million Questions About Adoption

The other day I attended a brunch for all of the third grade moms at my daughter's school. I'm one of those borderline introvert/extrovert people. In new situations like this I lean more on the seriously introverted side. This has, after all, only been our second year of having school aged kids and I still feel like my "still being in the learning stage of having children in school" phase is going to mean that I'll say something not knowing what size shoe my child wears

My fears were calmed as the coffee was poured and as I met each friendly face and realized we were all a little reserved. As I sat quietly around the table the conversations began. At some point it turned to adoption. My ears immediately perked up. Some moms were talking about how they really want to adopt through the county but they just weren't sure. As I listened they talked about different questions and reservations that they had. 

I had a million questions once.

I had a million and one reservations once.

As minutes passed and there was a silent moment I heard my voice suddenly saying out loud, "we adopted through the county." (I guess my introverted/extroverted self was starting to feel a little courageous.)

Everyone turned and looked. 

A few questions were asked and then a few more. I shared a little bit about our story...about how I had a million questions and a million and one reservations and about how now looking back I would say,

Keep asking questions...

You might find that with each answered question comes another question leading you forward.

You might find that some questions have answers and some don't. 

You might find that your reservations are calmed and your trust is heightened. 

You might find that one day you adopt and suddenly your world is never the same. 

Suddenly it is more than you could have ever dreamed or imagined and you remember how thankful you are that you kept asking those questions.

questions about adoption

So many of you have commented, sent thoughtful emails, and left messages telling me a little bit about your story...about the questions you have as you consider adoption or about the stories that took place after you adopted. Thank you to all of you! The questions that you have when it comes to adoption are so important. Over this coming year I will be sharing some of the questions you've asked with other families who have adopted. Together, perhaps, we can work on answering some of them.

What question(s) would you ask? Feel free to share your questions in the comment section below or email aninvitinghome (at)

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  1. I just clicked over and read the shoe size post - hilarious!

  2. I most remember coming home with two boys (27 months old and just shy of 4 years old) and people wanting to and gifts and kept asking what hey liked. I had no idea what they liked. I did know they inhaled yogurt and bananas, but not much els

  3. I'm looking forward to these posts (and always appreciate your adoption posts). We're planning on starting our adoption journey this summer. It's SO exciting since it's something I've wanted to do since I was a kid, but a little terrifying at the same time. I feel like it helps to educate myself as much as I can and hear from others who have gone before us.

  4. What would you recommend people do to prepare *before* adopting (specifically before adopting through foster care)? Any particular books or websites you would recommend reading? Any house changes you would recommend making (other than the ones required by your county, of course)? Hubby and I are starting the process for foster-adoption. I'm thinking that before we have children here it would be good for us to get into a routine of meal planning and to have as much of the house unpacked/organized as possible (we moved in less than a year ago and are still finding places for everything).


Thank you for commenting, I read every single one. Because spam is so prevalent I moderate all comments. I also will delete any that are inappropriate or hurtful. All other comments will be approved and published in between me chasing around my five little tornadoes! For any specific questions feel free to email me at Thanks for reading and following along!

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